This is my rifle, this is my gun......

This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for shooting, this is for fun….

The age old mantra still runs through my head. Along with an image of some clot marching up and down the barracks, clutching his balls with one hand, and holding his rifle above his head, shouting the stupid rhyme…. Calling your beloved rifle a gun was not a good idea.

The first rifle I was issued with was the R1, the South African version of the Belgian FN. The design was dated, with a crappy stock, a little carrying handle on the top, 7.62mm calibre, 20 round magazine… and lots of little corners where minute bits of dust could collect.

Lesson one was that this was your wife. It NEVER left your side. You slept with it in your sleeping bag, you carried it to breakfast, you had it next to you when you did your washing. And when you really had to put it somewhere, the moving parts were locked in your trommel, and the big bits were locked in your “kas”. And beware the poor sod who forgot to lock it all away. He’d shit bricks for a day or two….

We carried this piece of shit around for more than a month before we actually took it to the shooting range. They made us crawl through mud, just so that we could clean it for them again, we had to take it apart on demand, just so that someone could smack you on the top of your head and make you run for the boundary fence again when the bloody mouse wouldn’t fit in quickly enough… and it never does when you’re in a hurry.

Finally the big day came and we tumbled out of the Bedfords at the shooting range. And then lying down at the 100 metre mark, switch it S for single shot (R for Afrikaans results in unpleasant behavior by the instructors), aiming for the target. Squeeze the trigger slowly, like you’ve been taught… and BANG! Fuck me, the bloody thing worked!!!! I was so convinced they’d given me a piece of shit, it surprised the hell out of me when it actually fired. My head popped up to see where the shot went, only to get a swipe on the top of my doiby for being a stupid cunt and not concentrating….