July 1985 - Three wise men and a virgin

Officers course was behind us, and I’d had a quick weekend at home before I reported to 2 Field Engineer Regiment in Bethlehem (not the one with 3 wise men and a virgin). It was a cold winter’s day when I arrived at the main gate. The big sign over the main gate read in big blue and red letters “2 Field Eng Regiment. Home of the Super Sapper” This was the 80's, not 1914. Did people still fall for shit like that?

I parked my car ( I had a white Toyota Corolla in those days) at the visitors parking next to the officers mess just left of the main gate, asked for directions to the security area, where HQ was. The weak winter sun was slanting low over the parade ground. It was already getting cold, and there was a bite in the air. Funny the things you remember. Bethlehem was legendary as the coldest army camp in South Africa.

Wearing my step-outs (army jacket, tie, smart khaki pants and shiny brown shoes, and feeling very self conscious I walked up past the parade ground on the left, and went in through the gates to the security area. I was still firmly convinced that the army had fucked up big time in giving me any form of responsibility whatsoever. I found the Adjudant, a harried PF (Permanent Force) Captain who looked liked a scruffy accountant. His shirt was always hanging out. He told me who to go see in the mess about a room, and waved me into the Kommandant’s office. The Kommandant (the rank is equal to lieut-colonel) shook my hand, asked what sport I did, and whether I was going to the border (Border referred to the Namibia/Angola border, where our little war was) or staying with him. “Border” I said. He looked me up and down and said “Ok, now fuckoff out of my office”. That was my introduction to “Devil Eyes” De Villiers. He was a butcher in a previous life..

One of the cooks showed me to my room. Pretty average it was. A steel cupboard, painted military grey, a worn wooden desk, and a steel bed. But it was mine. I didn’t have to share it with 63 other other guys. The showers were down the hall. I unpacked, got out of my stepouts, and put on my browns, boots and mooi moois (roughly translated it means pretty things, but is used to describe the colourful engineer regiment belt, unit badges and rank that you wear when you're not on operations), and decided to go find the pub.

As I closed my door and started walking off, I bumped into a girl who came very unexpectedly round the corner. There are very few pretty girls in the army, so chances were high she was a civvie. This one was in high heels, tight jeans, had big tits and big hair. “Who are you?” she said. I explained.

She took a piece of paper out of her bra. “Well you not on my list, I’m looking for these guys” She showed me a list of seventeen names, handwritten and numbered neatly” She must have seen the question mark on my face… “One of these fuckers got me pregnant, and I’m trying to find out who it is” And off she trippled on her 6 inch high white high heels…

I never did get a photo of the girl (I heard there were a number of them floating around, mostly without the jeans - but with the high heels) - so I added one of the Bethlehem unit patches instead. Sorry.